As we explained in another article, communication is the basis of any relationship. It is very important that in a couple you both communicate, either to express happiness or some problem. Of these conversations, there are some topics that yes or yes you have to deal with together to, in some way, assess how the relationship is working and if the two of you follow the same path or the intentions are different.

What does the word “marriage” mean to us?

The first question you should ask yourself is: “what do I want from a marriage?” A good method of knowing the other’s response is to make a separate list and write down those things that you consider to be key for a marriage to work. Then, put it in common and discuss what you do not fully agree on. Consider it as a “self-examination” to know if what you want you are achieving or not.

• Some of the topics to be discussed that could come up would be: intimate relationships, the economy, household chores…
  What kind of sexual relationships do we seek, are we interested in and like the most?

What is the percentage of importance you give to sex? Depending on this answer, this topic will be more or less relevant in your marriage. Now, for most couples, it is a topic that is frequently discussed. Talking about sexual relations is an opportunity to tell what each one needs and expects from the other. Thus, you will be able to understand the expectations of each one when making love. It is also important to make clear certain reactions that are normal for one, but very rare for the other. So that neither of you suffers or worries more than necessary, you have to explain how you are in this regard.

• Some of the topics to be discussed that could come out would be: positions, caresses, lingerie, places, etc…
  How do we share household chores as a couple?

Marriage is happiness, love, but that does not define everything. There are also obligations that each one must fulfill, and that is where sometimes the two people find more differences, because they have not previously defined who will take care of what. It is very important to explain to the other what tasks you are best at, what you like to do, what you prefer the other person to do, etc. Coexistence is not easy, but if you organize yourself well, you can live happily and without any kind of problem in this regard.

• Some of the topics to be discussed that could come up would be: cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.
  How do we deal with the subject of money in the family environment?

One of the problems of many marriages is the economy. Before entering the marriage or going to live together, it is necessary to define very well how the economic issues are going to be handled from that moment on.

• Some of the topics to be discussed that could come up would be: the basic purchase of the week, rent or mortgage, savings, the use of credit cards, the common account, etc.

How will we raise our children?

The issue of children is one of the most important, and also one of the least talked about because as it is long-term, many do not even take it into account until they come face to face with it. What you have to consider is how to educate them, and agree on the method, the restrictions they will have, etc. Children with parents who care about establishing order and following the same path lead happier and more balanced lives. But beware! Both the mother and the father must have important roles in the lives of their children, and it should not be just one who carries most of the weight of the parent-child relationship.

• Some of the topics to be discussed that could come up would be: education, talent development, housework, money, etc.

What role do the in-laws have in our relationship as a couple?

When you have a stable relationship with someone, you also start to have it, although in a more indirect way, with their family. That is good as long as the limits of the relationship you want to have with your parents and in-laws have been defined. Parents should respect their children’s boundaries and let them lead their own lives without continually interfering. If you find yourself overwhelmed in this sense, find a quiet place and begin to establish limits and clarifications to make them see and understand that you are no longer just one of them, but that there is another person who occupies your life.

• Some of the topics to be discussed that could come up would be: how often you see your parents and in-laws, lunches and dinners, calls, celebrations, etc.